“You are the God who sees me,” for she said, “I have now seen the One who sees me.” [Genesis 16:13]
I wouldn’t say I have many routines but one of them is to stop by my friend’s restaurant for lunch every week. I usually order the same dish and hang out for a little bit before proceeding on my weekly errand run. A few months ago I noticed an older, homeless woman that would stand at the intersection with a sign asking for help. There were a few times that I would buy her a meal or a Subway Sandwich gift card. She was always grateful, reminding me that my gift would help feed her two grandchildren. Last week, I noticed her at a different intersection so I stopped and handed her a few dollars. As usual, she thanked me over and over again. I told her, God Bless, and was about to go on my way when I decided to pause and ask what her name was. She told me her name was Teresa. I told her that I would pray for her and then she asked me to pray for her two grandchildren as well.
My roommate and I went to eat there again today. I saw Teresa standing in the rain with her sign. She was drenched in water as she tried to cover her head with the hood on her jacket. I looked for my umbrella to hand her but I couldn’t find it. I suppose I could have ran to the store and bought her an umbrella, but I had important things to do like take a nap, try on the clothes I just bought from the mall, or even catch up on today’s football scores. It would’ve been a moment of discomfort for me to step out of my reality into hers but I chose not to. The truth was that, other than the first 15 minutes after I promised her, I haven’t even prayed for her or even thought of her.
As I write this I am reminded of the God of a second look. Most of us see someone and never think to look twice. But when God sees us, he doesn’t just take a second look, he stares long and hard. His thoughts are preoccupied with thoughts about us; he is obsessed with us. The truth is that he stepped out of his comfort and into our reality. He saw us in our hunger. He saw us in our poverty. But he didn’t just buy us a meal… he offers us a feast. He didn’t just give us shelter… he offers us a place in his kingdom. But he offers all this at a tremendous price. It didn’t just cost him a few dollars and gift card… it cost him everything. Because when he sees us… he falls madly in love with us. He falls madly in love with me. He falls madly in love with you.
I know I can only do so much but I am convinced that I need to keeping praying for Teresa so that her reality remains a part of my reality. It’s the reality that this world is not my home. It’s easy to take a first look at the world around me and think that I live in want. It’s easy to took a first look and see that this is all there is so I must do all I can to hold on to it. I hold on to the idea that I live in want for that wealth… that recognition… that relationship… that… life.
But when I take a second look, all I can see is blessing. I see that he’s taken care of me every step of the way. That even the most mundane interactions are orchestrated by him for my good. He showers me with grace and favor beyond anything I could imagine. Everything I see comes from his hand… and it’s everything I need. And more than anything I need… all I really need to see is that he sees me.
